I didn't have a great run yesterday which was my last long run before my marathon on the 30th. I took a bit of a wobble just after 10 miles but plodded on for another 4 1/2 or so.
I just didn't feel right, I was all tense and not breathing how I would like to. It was a real struggle.
It was hard to overcome all of this in my mind and continue. I then said to the rest of the group, 'I'm sorry but I'm going to have to call it a day' I then called my mum to come and get me. We were 5 1/2 miles from home.
I was really disappointed in myself.
I felt like I let myself down.
And Kirsteen and the rest of the group.
And then of course doubts start to creep in. Can I really do this? I've not done enough training. I'm so not prepared.
If I can't do 20 miles, then how can I do 26.2 miles? Am I just kidding myself?
But, after a cup of tea, I got back out there!
I got back and then had a cup of sugary tea. And in between feeling angry and ever so slightly sorry for myself, I decided that I can do this.
Checked the blisters on my feet. Dried myself down. Laced back up, changed my t-shirt and got back out. I caught up with the group and did another 2 miles.
I apologised to them all. Again! After all, I had left them to do 3 1/2 miles without me.
But that evening, when I looked back and think about how far I've come this year. I haven't really failed.
Ok, I may not have done all the miles I was looking to do yesterday, but looking back over the last few weeks, I've gone further than I ever have.
And got through it with niggles, holed socks and burst trainers.
And I haven't given up, I'm still determined to complete Glencoe.
So next time you think you've failed...
Take a moment to look back on what you have achieved. You'll find that there are plenty of times that you have actually done better than you thought. You'll find times that you will be proud of. And certainly things that you want to do again.
We all have off days, sometimes more than we would like. And if you are really struggling just take the time out. A few days isn't really going to make that much of a difference to your fitness, if at all. But it will help you recharge and you should then feel determined and ready to take it all on again.
How do you overcome the feeling of failure?
Have you ever felt like that you have failed. Or let yourself and others down? What did you do to pick yourself back up and go again?
Leave a comment below, I'd love to hear your stories.